Mother's Rock!

My mother passed away on Monday night.  I used to think that when an older person passed away, especially one who has been very ill, that it wasn't particularly sad; that it was a good thing.  But I discovered that even though I am happy she is no longer suffering, I am sad she is gone.  Mothers are the rocks of the family.  The loss of the mother changes the whole family dynamics.  My mom orchestrated every family gathering for years.  She took care of birthdays, weddings, and family reunions.  She was the advocate for us all.   I will miss her influence very much.  

Watching a Loved One Die

The doctor told us my mother was not expected to live through the weekend a few weeks ago, but that was only if we did not offer her food or water.  He told us that a normal, healthy adult could only last 10 days without food or water.  But my mother is not in that category.  She had several strokes that left her paralyzed.  The paralysis includes her throat, which affects her ability to swallow.  If she is able to get anything down, it is aspirated into her lungs which causes pneumonia.  So it is a difficult balance to achieve.  She has hospice care, at home, and they are trying to make her as comfortable as possible.  My dad gives her baby food (small teaspoons) when she is hungry, and a swab that we dip in water to moisten her mouth.  Because we are feeding her and swabbing her mouth, she continues to live.  It is not much of a life at this point.  She is an invalid.  She cannot move anything but one hand.  She deteriorates a little bit each day.  This week I noticed she is not able to articulate words anymore.  She can't express how she feels, so we need to remember to ask her if she is cold, hot, hungry, or thirsty, stressed, in pain, etc.  When we ask her a question she can sometimes nod her head or make a noise so we know what she needs.  I visit every day.  The days are long and hard for my dad and my mom.  I want to visit my mom so that she knows that I love her.  I want to visit my dad to support him anyway I can. Sometimes I just sit with my mom so that he can get out of the house and away from the sadness.  It is so sad.  It will be a slow death. 

Our OCD dog, Sam

From the moment Sam came to our home as a puppy, five years ago, he showed signs of anxiety.  He anxiously paced the floor, stared at us for long periods of time, would not snuggle with us, and often howled a cry of pain if he was ever left alone in a room.  In the picture on the left, you can see the anxiety in his expression and in his body language.  Sam also has OCD. He will not go outside through the front door--ever! He will only go outside through the back door if we are standing on the left side of the door. If we are on the right side, he will circle around until we move.  Car rides were stressful for him, and he often shook with fright the entire trip. He loved our youngest son, and slept with him every night, but I often felt like he didn't like the rest of us.

When our youngest son went off to college about a month ago, we became empty nesters.  As a result, Sam had no one to sleep with at night, and he was afraid to come into our room.  He would whimper and cry all night long without our son. After three weeks of zero sleep, we decided to find another home for Sam.  I prayed that we would find a family with young kids and a mother who was home most of the time, since we were gone all day, and we felt he needed more interaction than we were able to give him.  I know it seems odd to pray for your dog.  I certainly have never felt the need to pray for an animal, but this dog was really stressing me out!  I was not happy, and I knew Sam was not happy either.  I had to find a solution for all of us.  I placed an ad on KSL, and that same day, a young family of four showed up at our doorstep that included: two young children, another sheltie, a father, and a stay-at-home mom.  We went outside so they could all get to know each other better, and see if Sam would be a good fit with their family. It was unbelievable.  The two children connected with him immediately.  They played ball, petted him, and ran around with him. The mother, father and their other dog also immediately connected with Sam.  They decided to take him home. As Sam happily hopped into the car with them, he never even looked back.  He was so happy to be with them.  The mother texted me several times throughout the next couple of days sending me pictures, telling me how happy they all were to have found him.  Now, I know God cares about me and wanted to help me find a solution, but now I know that God also cares about my crazy dog Sam.  And that was pretty cool to discover.

Pure Love of Christ

We are all going to die at some point in our life. We may dread it, not think about it, but it doesn't change the fact that we are all going to die.  I haven't yet experienced having someone significant in  my life pass away.  But for the past 6 months, my mom has been in a hospital.  She has had poor health as long as I can remember. Many times we have been called to come say our good-byes, only for her to miraculously recover.  This time is different.  She has been moved to hospice and the time has now come to say our final farewells.  I had the opportunity of visiting with my mom yesterday while my dad ran some errands for a few hours.  She was able to communicate with me.  She asked for my dad every few minutes. She doesn't want to be without him, and he doesn't want to be without her.   When my dad returned, this was their reunion.  My mom said, "There you are!"  My dad said, "I love your smile!"  And then he kissed her on the forehead.  In her weakened condition, she has often been agitated, angry and unkind to him, but my dad understands.  He shows her love, patience and kindness, always.  How often are we treated poorly by people who are in a "weakened condition" and instead of showing love and kindness, we retaliate?  My dad has been an example of someone who, in all situations in life, shows love.

A Taiwanese Summer

September 2, 2016

The first time I needed a passport was when I flew to Taiwan this summer!  It took me to a place filled with kind people, lush landscape, and sticky, wet, weather.  Food was delicious there...new flavors and textures I've never before experienced.  Cold water was in short supply.  The Taiwanese don't drink cold beverages as they believe it is unhealthy.  They do not offer it at the night markets, in restaurants, or in their homes.  One of the hottest times I've ever been in my life was visiting a friend of my daughter's.  We had just taken a long bike ride through HuaLien so we were nice and hot.  As we entered her un-airconditioned home, we were offered hot pudding.  We didn't want to be rude so we took a bite and smiled as sweat dripped down our foreheads and into the bowl.  While it was a new feeling, being constantly wet, humidity healed my cracked skin and my aching back pain disappeared.