Watching a Loved One Die

The doctor told us my mother was not expected to live through the weekend a few weeks ago, but that was only if we did not offer her food or water.  He told us that a normal, healthy adult could only last 10 days without food or water.  But my mother is not in that category.  She had several strokes that left her paralyzed.  The paralysis includes her throat, which affects her ability to swallow.  If she is able to get anything down, it is aspirated into her lungs which causes pneumonia.  So it is a difficult balance to achieve.  She has hospice care, at home, and they are trying to make her as comfortable as possible.  My dad gives her baby food (small teaspoons) when she is hungry, and a swab that we dip in water to moisten her mouth.  Because we are feeding her and swabbing her mouth, she continues to live.  It is not much of a life at this point.  She is an invalid.  She cannot move anything but one hand.  She deteriorates a little bit each day.  This week I noticed she is not able to articulate words anymore.  She can't express how she feels, so we need to remember to ask her if she is cold, hot, hungry, or thirsty, stressed, in pain, etc.  When we ask her a question she can sometimes nod her head or make a noise so we know what she needs.  I visit every day.  The days are long and hard for my dad and my mom.  I want to visit my mom so that she knows that I love her.  I want to visit my dad to support him anyway I can. Sometimes I just sit with my mom so that he can get out of the house and away from the sadness.  It is so sad.  It will be a slow death.